Blagues de Noël

A joke per day until Christmas.

Match the (very Dad-ish) jokes with their image. Two do not have pictures.
How would you tell these two jokes in French ?

  1. Dear Father Christmas, this year, I’d like well rounded bank account and a slim body. PS: Don’t mix the two up as you did last year.
  2. How does Father Christmas feel when he gets stuck in a chimney ?
  3. What does the fir tree say when it arrives late on Christmas eve ?
    Oh la la, I’m going to get growled at.
    ( Play on words: enguilander = decorate with festive garlands , but also to get an earful/be growled at)
  4. What has 34 legs 9 heads, and 2 arms ?
    Father Christmas and his reindeer ?
  5. What do you call an old snowman ?
    A puddle.
  6. Some French people are chauvinists.
    I am more hot wine.
    (Play on words: vin chaud = hot wine,  chau-vin = chauvanist)
  7. Why is Father Christmas is always happy and jolly ?
    He is not the one buying the presents.

Le père Noël et ses rennes
Jokes from